Confidence isn't about becoming someone else

Supporting confidence and self-esteem shouldn't mean teaching someone to hide who they are, become more outgoing or behave more like other people.

Support may instead involve developing a better understanding of yourself, recognising your strengths and needs, responding differently to self-critical thoughts, developing self-advocacy and becoming more comfortable making choices that reflect who you are.

The goal isn't to create a different person. It's to support the person who is already there.

What Is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem refers to how we think about ourselves and the value we place on ourselves.
​
Someone with generally healthy self-esteem can still:
  • Make mistakes
  • Feel embarrassed
  • Experience disappointment
  • Be uncertain
  • Have areas they would like to improve
  • Feel less confident in particular situations
Healthy self-esteem doesn't mean believing you are good at everything.
​
It involves being able to recognise your worth even when something doesn't go well.
What Is Confidence?

Confidence and self-esteem are related, but they are not exactly the same.

Confidence generally relates to how capable we feel in a particular situation or activity.
Someone might feel:
  • Confident cooking but nervous speaking publicly
  • Confident at work but uncomfortable socially
  • Confident playing sport but uncertain academically
  • Confident with friends but nervous meeting new people

Someone can therefore be highly capable and confident in certain areas while still struggling with their broader sense of self-worth.

Likewise, someone can have healthy self-esteem while recognising that they aren't confident in every situation.
What Is Self-Concept?

Self-concept refers broadly to how someone understands and describes themselves.
It can include questions such as:
  • What am I good at?
  • What do I find difficult?
  • What matters to me?
  • What kind of person am I?
  • Where do I belong?
  • How do other people see me?
  • What roles are important to me?
  • What makes me different?
  • What are my strengths?
  • What support do I need?
Our self-concept develops through our experiences, relationships and environments.

It can also change as we learn more about ourselves.
What Do We Mean by Identity?

Identity relates to our understanding of who we are.
It may involve many parts of a person's life, including:
  • Personality
  • Values
  • Interests
  • Culture
  • Family
  • Relationships
  • Roles
  • Community
  • Neurodivergence
  • Disability
  • Work
  • Education
  • Life experiences
  • Personal beliefs
People don't necessarily have one fixed identity throughout their entire life.

Our understanding of ourselves can continue developing as our circumstances, relationships and experiences change.
Signs Someone May Be Struggling With Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem doesn't look the same for everyone.
A person might:
  • Frequently criticise themselves
  • Focus heavily on mistakes
  • Dismiss achievements
  • Compare themselves with others
  • Find compliments difficult to accept
  • Avoid trying new things
  • Fear failure
  • Assume other people are better than them
  • Seek frequent reassurance
  • Apologise excessively
  • Have difficulty setting boundaries
  • Find criticism particularly difficult
  • Believe they aren't capable
  • Feel they don't belong
  • Put other people's needs ahead of their own
  • Feel that they have to prove their worth
These experiences can have many causes and don't automatically indicate a mental health condition.

Understanding what has contributed to the person's beliefs about themselves can be an important part of support.
Negative Self-Talk

Sometimes difficulties with self-esteem become visible through the way someone talks about themselves.

A child might say:
“I'm stupid.”
“Everyone else is better than me.”
“I can't do anything.”

A teenager might think:
“Nobody actually likes me.”
“I'm embarrassing.”
“There's something wrong with me.”

An adult might think:
“I'm not good enough.”
“Everyone else has their life together.”
“I should be able to cope with this.”

Over time, repeated self-critical thoughts can begin to feel like facts.

Counselling may help someone recognise these patterns, understand where they developed and explore whether the conclusions they have reached about themselves accurately reflect who they are.

Self-Esteem in Children

Children gradually develop an understanding of themselves through their relationships and experiences.
These may include experiences with:
  • Parents and caregivers
  • Siblings
  • Teachers
  • Friends
  • School
  • Sport
  • Hobbies and interests
  • Success
  • Mistakes
  • Feedback from others

​Children may begin struggling with confidence when they repeatedly experience situations in which they feel:
  • Different
  • Unsuccessful
  • Criticised
  • Excluded
  • Behind their peers
  • Misunderstood
  • Unable to meet expectations

A child's confidence can also vary significantly between different environments.

A child who appears confident at home may struggle at school, while another child may participate successfully at school but experience significant self-doubt privately.
Signs Your Child May Be Struggling With Confidence

Parents might notice their child:
  • Saying they're bad at everything
  • Avoiding unfamiliar activities
  • Becoming highly distressed by mistakes
  • Giving up quickly
  • Comparing themselves with siblings or classmates
  • Saying other children are smarter or better than them
  • Avoiding social situations
  • Seeking frequent reassurance
  • Becoming upset by feedback
  • Refusing activities they previously enjoyed
  • Becoming perfectionistic
  • Being reluctant to ask for help
Avoidance doesn't automatically mean low confidence.

Anxiety, sensory needs, learning difficulties, communication differences, bullying, ADHD, Autism and other factors may also contribute.

​Understanding why the child is finding something difficult is important.

Explore Child & Teen Counselling
Confidence & Self-Esteem in Teenagers

Adolescence involves substantial development in identity, independence, relationships and self-understanding.
Teenagers may compare themselves with others in areas such as:
  • Appearance
  • Friendships
  • Academic achievement
  • Sport
  • Relationships
  • Social media
  • Popularity
  • Independence
  • Future plans
  • School performance
  • Work
  • Personal interests
They may also become increasingly aware of differences between themselves and their peers.

A teenager who appears confident socially may still experience significant self-doubt privately.
Identity Development in Adolescence

Questions about identity can be a normal part of adolescence.

Teenagers may begin exploring questions such as:
Who am I?
Where do I belong?
What matters to me?
What am I good at?
What kind of relationships do I want?
What do I want my future to look like?
How am I different from other people?
What parts of myself are important to me?

Counselling can provide a supportive environment in which teenagers can explore these questions without being expected to have immediate answers.
Social Media, Comparison & Self-Esteem

Comparison isn't new, but social media can make opportunities for comparison almost continuous.
People may compare their:
  • Appearance
  • Friendships
  • Relationships
  • Parenting
  • Career
  • Home
  • Holidays
  • Achievements
  • Lifestyle
  • Social life
with carefully selected parts of other people's lives.

This can create the impression that everyone else is more successful, confident, attractive, connected or organised.

It can be useful to recognise that we may be comparing our entire lived experience with selected moments from somebody else's life.
Bullying, Exclusion & Confidence

Bullying and social exclusion can significantly influence how someone sees themselves.

A child or teenager who repeatedly hears negative messages about themselves may eventually begin to internalise those messages.

They might start thinking:
“Maybe they're right.”
Experiences of bullying or exclusion may affect:
  • Confidence
  • Belonging
  • Friendships
  • School participation
  • Trust
  • Anxiety
  • Self-image
  • Willingness to participate socially
Importantly, counselling should not simply be used to make a child more resilient to ongoing bullying.

The bullying and the environment in which it is occurring also need to be addressed.

If school attendance has become difficult, explore:
School Anxiety, School Avoidance & Difficulty Attending School
When Friendships Affect Confidence
​
Repeated exclusion, bullying, friendship breakdowns or feeling different from peers can influence how a young person sees themselves. Over time, children may begin to believe that they need to change who they are to be accepted.

Our friendship resource explores healthy relationships, bullying, exclusion, boundaries and supporting children to develop meaningful relationships without teaching them that belonging requires hiding who they are.

Read: Friendship, Bullying & Social Difficulties in Children & Teenagers
Learning Difficulties & Self-Esteem

Imagine spending years watching classmates complete tasks that consistently feel much harder for you.

A child might eventually conclude:
“I'm not smart.”
when the underlying issue may actually be a specific learning difficulty or another difference affecting learning.

​Persistent difficulties involving:
  • Reading
  • Writing
  • Spelling
  • Mathematics
  • Working memory
  • Processing
  • Language
  • Attention
  • Organisation
can affect confidence, particularly when the reason for the difficulty isn't understood.

Repeatedly being told to “try harder” can be particularly difficult when the child is already putting substantial effort into the task.

Where there are ongoing questions about learning or cognitive functioning, a Psychology Assessment may help investigate what is contributing.
Perfectionism & Self-Worth

Confidence difficulties don't always look like low achievement.

Sometimes they look like perfectionism.

Someone may:
  • Achieve highly
  • Work extremely hard
  • Check everything repeatedly
  • Avoid submitting work until it feels perfect
  • Become distressed by minor mistakes
  • Fear disappointing people
  • Struggle to accept anything less than their best
  • Feel that achievements are never enough

Their sense of worth may gradually become connected to performance:
“If I succeed, I'm good enough.”
“If I fail, I'm not.”

Counselling may help someone explore these beliefs and develop a more flexible relationship with achievement, expectations and mistakes.
Anxiety & Self-Esteem

Anxiety and self-esteem difficulties can interact.
Someone who doubts themselves may worry about:
  • Making mistakes
  • Being judged
  • Being rejected
  • Speaking up
  • Trying something unfamiliar
  • Performing in front of others
  • Saying the wrong thing
  • Disappointing people
Avoiding these experiences can provide short-term relief.

However, it may also reduce opportunities to discover:
“That was difficult, but I managed it.”

Where persistent worry or anxiety is a significant concern, explore:
Anxiety Counselling & Support
Autism, Identity & Self-Esteem

Autistic people may develop their sense of self while navigating environments that don't always understand or accommodate autistic ways of communicating, interacting, regulating and experiencing the world.

Experiences may include:
  • Feeling different
  • Being misunderstood
  • Social exclusion
  • Bullying
  • Difficult sensory environments
  • Repeated correction
  • Communication misunderstandings
  • Pressure to behave more neurotypically
  • Masking
  • Feeling that natural responses are unacceptable
Over time, these experiences can influence confidence, belonging and identity.

A neurodiversity-affirming approach doesn't start from the assumption that autistic characteristics need to be corrected.
Support may instead involve:
  • Understanding their neurotype
  • Recognising strengths
  • Understanding support needs
  • Developing self-advocacy
  • Exploring communication preferences
  • Developing boundaries
  • Exploring identity
  • Finding belonging
  • Developing greater self-understanding

​Explore Autism Support & Resources
Masking, Belonging & Identity

Some autistic and other neurodivergent people describe masking, consciously or unconsciously adapting or suppressing aspects of themselves in response to social expectations.

This might involve:
  • Monitoring facial expressions
  • Rehearsing conversations
  • Copying other people's behaviour
  • Suppressing natural movements
  • Hiding sensory distress
  • Forcing eye contact
  • Constantly analysing social interactions

For some people, sustained masking can be exhausting and can make it difficult to understand where social expectations end and their own preferences begin.

This can create questions such as:
“Who am I when I'm not trying to meet everyone else's expectations?”

Counselling may provide space to explore these experiences without assuming that there is one correct way to communicate, socialise or express yourself.
ADHD, Confidence & Self-Concept

People with ADHD may receive considerable negative feedback throughout childhood, adolescence and adulthood.
They might repeatedly hear:
  • “Pay attention.”
  • “Stop interrupting.”
  • “Try harder.”
  • “You're disorganised.”
  • “Why are you always late?”
  • “You have so much potential.”
  • “You just need to apply yourself.”

Over time, someone may begin interpreting difficulties with executive functioning as character flaws.

A child might conclude:
“I'm lazy.”
rather than:
“Starting and organising this task is difficult for me.”

An adult might think:
“Why can everyone else manage this?”
rather than recognising that planning, prioritising, time management, working memory or task initiation may require substantially more effort.

Neurodiversity-affirming support can help separate who the person is from difficulties they experience.
Explore ADHD Support & Resources
Receiving an Autism or ADHD Diagnosis Later in Life

Receiving an Autism or ADHD diagnosis can create many different emotional responses.
Someone might experience:
  • Relief
  • Validation
  • Confusion
  • Grief
  • Curiosity
  • Anger
  • Sadness
  • Hope
  • A mixture of emotions
They may begin revisiting previous experiences through a different lens.

Situations once interpreted as:
“Why couldn't I cope?”
may become:
“I didn't understand what I needed.”

Someone who previously thought:
“I'm just bad at this.”
may begin recognising the role of executive functioning, sensory processing, communication differences or other factors.

A diagnosis doesn't determine someone's identity.

For some people, however, understanding their neurodivergence can become an important part of understanding themselves.

Belong Health also provides Adult Autism Assessments and Adult ADHD Assessments for people seeking formal assessment.
Self-Esteem & Confidence in Adults

Self-esteem difficulties don't necessarily disappear when someone becomes an adult.
Adults may experience:
  • Feeling inadequate
  • Comparing themselves with others
  • Imposter feelings
  • Difficulty accepting compliments
  • Fear of criticism
  • People pleasing
  • Difficulty saying no
  • Perfectionism
  • Relationship insecurity
  • Workplace confidence difficulties
  • Parenting confidence difficulties
  • Feeling behind their peers
  • Difficulty recognising strengths
  • Feeling that they should have achieved more

Sometimes these beliefs have existed for many years.

Other times they develop or intensify following experiences such as:
  • Relationship breakdown
  • Job loss
  • Illness
  • Disability
  • Bullying
  • Workplace difficulties
  • Parenting challenges
  • Major life changes
  • Changes in independence
  • Receiving a diagnosis

Explore Adult Counselling
Work, Study & Confidence

Confidence can vary significantly depending on the situation.

Someone may feel highly capable professionally but uncertain socially.

Another person may understand their subject extremely well but struggle to speak during meetings, presentations or group discussions.
Confidence difficulties may involve:
  • Fear of making mistakes
  • Speaking in meetings
  • Asking questions
  • Applying for opportunities
  • Receiving feedback
  • Starting university
  • Returning to study
  • Changing careers
  • Managing workplace relationships
  • Advocating for support
  • Trying something unfamiliar
Counselling may help explore what sits underneath the difficulty rather than assuming someone simply needs to “be more confident”.
Relationships, Boundaries & Self-Esteem

Self-esteem can influence relationships.
Someone who believes their needs are less important than other people's may find it difficult to:
  • Say no
  • Express disagreement
  • Ask for help
  • Communicate needs
  • Set boundaries
  • Accept support
  • Advocate for themselves
They may worry that setting a boundary will disappoint someone or damage the relationship.

Counselling may support people to explore relationship patterns, communication, values, self-advocacy and boundaries.
​
Healthy boundaries don't require someone to stop caring about others.

They can involve recognising that their own needs matter too.
People Pleasing

Some people become highly focused on keeping other people happy.
They may:
  • Agree when they want to say no
  • Avoid disagreement
  • Take responsibility for other people's emotions
  • Apologise frequently
  • Worry about disappointing others
  • Change their behaviour to gain approval
  • Ignore their own needs
  • Feel guilty when setting boundaries
People pleasing can develop for many different reasons.

Rather than simply telling someone to “stop caring what people think”, counselling may explore why approval feels so important and what the person fears might happen if they disappoint someone.
Stress, Overwhelm & Confidence

Confidence can also be affected when someone is under sustained pressure.
A person who normally feels capable may begin questioning themselves when they are:
  • Exhausted
  • Overloaded
  • Managing multiple responsibilities
  • Experiencing workplace stress
  • Caring for others
  • Not sleeping well
  • Navigating major life changes

Sometimes the conclusion becomes:
“I'm not coping because I'm not capable.”

when another possibility is:
“There is currently more being asked of me than I have capacity for.”

Explore Stress, Feeling Overwhelmed & Burnout Support
Major Life Changes & Identity

Identity can shift following significant life changes.
Examples include:
  • Leaving school
  • Starting university
  • Beginning a career
  • Becoming a parent
  • Relationship changes
  • Separation
  • Changing careers
  • Retirement
  • Illness
  • Disability
  • Bereavement
  • Children leaving home
  • Moving
  • Becoming a carer
  • Receiving a diagnosis
Someone may find themselves asking:
“Who am I now?”
That question can be part of adjustment to a changing life rather than evidence that something is wrong.

When Life Changes Affect Your Sense of Identity
​
Some transitions change more than your daily routine. Finishing study, changing careers, ending a relationship, becoming a parent or retiring can also change how you understand yourself and the roles that have previously been important to you.
It can take time to develop a sense of who you are within a new stage of life.

Read Life Transitions & Coping With Change
Chronic Illness, Disability & Identity

Changes in health, disability or functional capacity can also influence identity.

Someone who previously identified strongly with their:
  • Career
  • Independence
  • Sport
  • Physical abilities
  • Parenting role
  • Social life
  • Hobbies
may need to adjust when circumstances change.

There may be grief for things that have changed alongside opportunities to understand identity in new ways.

Counselling may provide space to explore both.
How Can Counselling Help With Self-Esteem & Confidence?

Counselling for self-esteem involves more than simply telling someone:
“You need to believe in yourself.”

Our beliefs about ourselves often develop through years of experiences, relationships and feedback.

Depending on the individual, counselling may involve:
  • Exploring how negative beliefs developed
  • Recognising patterns of self-criticism
  • Identifying strengths
  • Exploring unhelpful assumptions
  • Developing self-compassion
  • Understanding emotions
  • Exploring identity
  • Developing boundaries
  • Building self-advocacy
  • Exploring relationship patterns
  • Reducing unhelpful comparison
  • Understanding perfectionism
  • Exploring values
  • Building confidence through meaningful experiences

The approach should be individualised to the person's age, experiences, communication preferences, goals and support needs.
CBT-Informed Counselling

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy-informed strategies may be used to explore connections between:
situations → thoughts and beliefs → emotions → behaviour

For example:
Situation:
I made a mistake at work.

Thought:
“I'm terrible at my job.”

Emotion:
Embarrassment, anxiety or shame.

Behaviour:
Avoid speaking during the next meeting.

Counselling may explore whether:
“I made a mistake”

has automatically become:
“I am incompetent.”

The aim isn't to replace every negative thought with a positive one.
​
Instead, the person may learn to examine whether their interpretation is accurate, balanced and useful.
ACT-Informed Counselling

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy-informed strategies may also be incorporated where appropriate.
This may involve exploring:
  • Personal values
  • Psychological flexibility
  • Awareness of thoughts
  • Making space for difficult emotions
  • Self-compassion
  • Meaningful action
  • What matters to the person

Someone might learn to notice:
“I'm having the thought that I'm not good enough.”

rather than automatically treating:
“I'm not good enough.”
as an objective fact.
Building Confidence Through Experience

Confidence isn't always something we need to develop before trying something.

Sometimes confidence develops because we tried.

A person may begin with:
“I don't think I can do this.”

Then:
“I'll try one small part.”

Then:
“That was uncomfortable, but I managed it.”

And eventually:
“Maybe I can do more than I thought.”

This shouldn't involve forcing someone into situations that are unsafe, inaccessible or overwhelming.
The challenge needs to be appropriate to the individual.
How Parents Can Support Their Child's Self-Esteem

Parents don't need to constantly praise children to support healthy self-esteem.

There are many practical ways to support a child's developing sense of self.

Notice Effort and Process
Instead of focusing only on the result:
“You're so smart.”
you might notice the process:
“You kept working on that even when it became difficult.”

Allow Safe Mistakes
Children need opportunities to discover that mistakes are part of learning and don't change their worth.

Avoid Unhelpful Comparisons
Comparing siblings, classmates or friends can reinforce the idea that worth depends on outperforming someone else.

Recognise Strengths Beyond Achievement
Strengths aren't limited to school results or sporting performance.
They may include:
  • Kindness
  • Creativity
  • Curiosity
  • Humour
  • Persistence
  • Honesty
  • Passion
  • Problem solving
  • Loyalty
  • Empathy

Listen Before Trying to Fix It
If your child says:
“I'm terrible at everything.”

an immediate:
“No you're not!”

may not help you understand what has happened.

You might instead ask:
“What happened today that made you feel that way?”

This creates an opportunity to understand what sits underneath the statement.
When Might Occupational Therapy Help?

Sometimes what appears to be a confidence problem is connected to a genuine functional difficulty.

For example, a child may avoid handwriting because handwriting is difficult.

Someone may avoid busy community environments because the sensory demands are overwhelming.

A person may avoid everyday tasks because planning and organisation are difficult.
Occupational Therapy may be worth exploring where concerns involve:
  • Sensory processing
  • Motor skills
  • Daily living skills
  • Executive functioning
  • Functional independence
  • School participation
  • Community participation

Explore Paediatric Occupational Therapy
Explore Occupational Therapy for Adults
When Might a Psychology Assessment Help?

Counselling and psychological assessment serve different purposes.
A Psychology Assessment may be worth exploring where persistent confidence difficulties occur alongside questions about:
  • Autism
  • ADHD
  • Learning difficulties
  • Intellectual functioning
  • Cognitive functioning
For example, a child who believes they are “bad at school” may actually be experiencing an unidentified learning difficulty.

Understanding the underlying reason for repeated difficulties can sometimes help the person and those around them develop a more accurate understanding of their strengths and support needs.
When Should I Speak With My GP?

Consider speaking with your GP if changes in self-esteem, confidence or emotional wellbeing:
  • Persist
  • Become significantly worse
  • Cause substantial distress
  • Affect everyday activities
  • Affect school or work
  • Affect relationships
  • Occur alongside significant anxiety
  • Occur alongside persistent low mood
  • Involve significant changes in sleep or appetite
  • Are accompanied by other mental or physical health concerns
A GP can help assess whether further medical, psychological or other support may be appropriate.
Self-Esteem & Confidence Counselling for Children

Belong Health provides counselling for children aged 7+.
Counselling may support children experiencing difficulties relating to:
  • Confidence
  • Self-esteem
  • Negative self-talk
  • Friendship difficulties
  • Bullying
  • Anxiety
  • Emotional regulation
  • Adjustment
  • School experiences
  • Identity and belonging
Support is adapted to the child's age, developmental needs, communication preferences and goals.
Explore Child & Teen Counselling
Self-Esteem, Confidence & Identity Counselling for Teenagers

Teenagers may access counselling for support relating to:
  • Confidence
  • Identity
  • Belonging
  • Friendships
  • Bullying
  • School
  • Self-esteem
  • Anxiety
  • Stress
  • Neurodivergent identity
  • Life transitions
  • Relationships
  • Future decisions
Counselling can provide space to explore these experiences without expecting a teenager to have everything figured out.
Self-Esteem & Identity Counselling for Adults

Adult counselling may support people experiencing:
  • Low self-esteem
  • Negative self-talk
  • Low confidence
  • Perfectionism
  • People pleasing
  • Identity questions
  • Relationship difficulties
  • Workplace confidence
  • Neurodivergent identity
  • Adjustment following diagnosis
  • Major life changes
  • Difficulties with boundaries
Explore Adult Counselling
Counselling in Falcon & Mandurah

In-clinic counselling is currently available at:
Belong Health
13 Littleton Street
Falcon WA 6211

Our Falcon clinic provides a local counselling option for children aged 7+, teenagers and adults from Mandurah, Falcon and surrounding Peel areas.
Enquire About Counselling
Telehealth Counselling Across Perth & Western Australia

Where clinically appropriate, counselling may also be available via telehealth across Perth and Western Australia.
Telehealth may be suitable for people who:
  • Live elsewhere in Perth
  • Live regionally or remotely
  • Find travel difficult
  • Need greater flexibility
  • Prefer accessing counselling from home
Suitability is considered individually.
Explore Telehealth Counselling
Free 20-Minute Meet & Greet

Where available, Belong Health offers a free 20-minute Meet & Greet with a Counsellor before deciding whether to proceed.
This gives you an opportunity to:
  • Meet the Counsellor
  • Briefly discuss what you're looking for
  • Ask questions
  • Learn about their approach
  • Discuss whether counselling may be appropriate
  • Decide whether the Counsellor feels like a suitable fit
There is no obligation to continue after the Meet & Greet.
Book a Free Meet & Greet
Related Counselling & Support Resources

You may also find these Belong Health pages helpful:
Child & Teen Counselling
Adult Counselling
Anxiety Counselling & Support
Stress, Feeling Overwhelmed & Burnout Support
School Anxiety, School Avoidance & Difficulty Attending School
Emotional Regulation & Dysregulation
Autism Support & Resources
ADHD Support & Resources
Psychology Assessments
Explore the Belong Health Resource Hub

Frequently Asked Questions About Self-Esteem, Confidence & Identity

What is self-esteem?
​Self-esteem refers to how you think about yourself and the value you place on yourself. It can influence relationships, participation, confidence, decision-making and how you respond to challenges and mistakes.

Is self-esteem the same as confidence?
No. Self-esteem relates more broadly to how you value yourself, while confidence generally relates to how capable you feel in a particular activity or situation.

What is self-concept?
Self-concept refers to the beliefs and ideas someone has about themselves, including their strengths, difficulties, roles, interests, values and characteristics.

What is identity?
Identity describes a person's understanding of who they are. It may involve personality, values, relationships, culture, interests, neurodivergence, disability, roles, communities and life experiences.

What are signs of low self-esteem?
Possible signs include frequent negative self-talk, focusing heavily on mistakes, difficulty accepting compliments, comparing yourself with others, avoiding challenges, seeking reassurance or believing you are less capable or worthy than other people.

Can children have low self-esteem?
Yes. Children's understanding of themselves develops through relationships and experiences. Bullying, learning difficulties, repeated criticism, exclusion, feeling misunderstood and other experiences may influence how a child sees themselves.

How can I tell if my child lacks confidence?
A child may avoid unfamiliar activities, give up quickly, become distressed by mistakes, compare themselves with others, seek frequent reassurance or speak negatively about themselves. These behaviours can also have other explanations, so understanding what is contributing is important.

Can bullying affect self-esteem?
Yes. Repeated bullying, exclusion or negative messages from peers can affect confidence, belonging and the way someone thinks about themselves. The bullying itself should also be addressed rather than expecting the person to simply become more resilient.

Can learning difficulties affect a child's confidence?
Yes. Repeatedly finding academic tasks difficult can affect confidence, particularly when the underlying learning difficulty hasn't been recognised or understood.

Can anxiety affect confidence?
Yes. Someone experiencing anxiety may worry about making mistakes, being judged, being rejected or trying something unfamiliar. Anxiety and confidence difficulties can also reinforce each other.

Can perfectionism be related to self-esteem?
Sometimes. A person may appear highly capable while believing their worth depends on achieving very high standards, avoiding mistakes or meeting other people's expectations.

Can Autism affect self-esteem and identity?
Autistic people may experience difficulties with self-esteem or identity following experiences such as misunderstanding, bullying, exclusion, repeated correction or pressure to mask. Autism itself shouldn't automatically be viewed as the problem that needs to be changed.

What is masking?
Masking generally refers to consciously or unconsciously adapting or suppressing aspects of natural behaviour in response to social expectations. For some people, sustained masking can be exhausting and can influence wellbeing and identity.

Can ADHD affect confidence?
Yes. Repeated difficulties involving attention, organisation, time management, task initiation or other executive functioning demands can influence confidence, particularly when those difficulties are interpreted as laziness, lack of effort or personal failure.

Can receiving an Autism or ADHD diagnosis affect identity?
Yes. People can experience many different reactions, including relief, validation, confusion, grief, curiosity or a combination of emotions. Some people begin understanding previous experiences differently after diagnosis.

Can adults struggle with self-esteem?
Yes. Self-esteem difficulties can continue into adulthood or develop following experiences such as workplace difficulties, relationships, illness, disability, parenting, major life changes or changes in identity.

Can counselling help with low self-esteem?
Counselling may help someone understand how negative beliefs developed, recognise self-critical patterns, explore strengths, develop self-compassion, establish boundaries and develop a more balanced understanding of themselves.

Can counselling help with identity?
Counselling can provide a supportive space to explore identity, values, relationships, life experiences, neurodivergence, disability, major changes and questions about self-understanding.

Does counselling make you more confident?
Counselling can't guarantee greater confidence. It may help someone understand barriers to confidence, explore unhelpful beliefs, recognise strengths and gradually develop confidence through meaningful experiences.

Do I need a diagnosis to access counselling for self-esteem?
Not necessarily. A formal mental health or neurodevelopmental diagnosis isn't generally required to access counselling for self-esteem, confidence or identity concerns.

When should I speak with my GP?
Consider speaking with your GP if difficulties with self-esteem or emotional wellbeing are persistent, worsening, causing significant distress, affecting everyday functioning or occurring alongside significant anxiety, persistent low mood or other health concerns.

How much does counselling cost?
Belong Health's current standard counselling rate is $156.16 per hour for NDIS participants and private clients.
View Current Fees & Services

What age does Belong Health provide counselling from?
Belong Health currently provides counselling for children aged 7+, teenagers, adults and older adults, depending on individual needs and clinician suitability.

Where is counselling available?
In-clinic counselling is currently available from Belong Health's Falcon clinic near Mandurah. Telehealth may also be available across Perth and Western Australia where clinically appropriate.

Can I meet the Counsellor before starting?
Where available, Belong Health offers a free 20-minute Meet & Greet so you can briefly discuss your needs, ask questions and decide whether the Counsellor may be an appropriate fit.

How do I get started?
Contact Belong Health or complete our online enquiry form. Our admin team can discuss current availability and the next steps.
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​Last reviewed: August 2026
This page is reviewed periodically to reflect current evidence, clinical practice and relevant NDIS guidance.
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