Escalations and You
An escalation refers to a heightened emotional state in which a person may struggle with self-regulation, communication, and decision-making. For children with disabilities, escalations are common and can be particularly stressful for their caregivers, as the child's ability to process emotions and interact appropriately may be impaired during these moments.
What is an Escalation?
An escalation is a large, often intense expression of emotion. These can range from behaviours like shouting, crying, and pacing to more severe actions, including physical outbursts or withdrawal. During these episodes, the child may experience "tunnel vision," where their focus narrows solely on the cause of the escalation, making it difficult for them to respond to external input or reasoning.
For children with disabilities, escalations can be a way to communicate overwhelming emotions or unmet needs. Factors such as sensory overload, difficulty understanding social cues, frustration with communication, or unmet physical needs (such as hunger or tiredness) can trigger escalations.
Signs of Escalation:
How to Manage Escalations
While an escalation often needs to reach its peak before the child begins to calm down, there are steps caregivers can take to assist the child in de-escalating:
Tips to Care for Ourselves
Caring for a child during an escalation is emotionally taxing. It’s essential for caregivers to take steps to manage their own emotional well-being during and after the event:
Seek Professional Support if Needed:
If escalations are frequent or severely impacting your well-being, consider reaching out for professional guidance. Counsellors, psychologists, or behaviour specialists can provide strategies for managing difficult situations and supporting your mental health.
What is an Escalation?
An escalation is a large, often intense expression of emotion. These can range from behaviours like shouting, crying, and pacing to more severe actions, including physical outbursts or withdrawal. During these episodes, the child may experience "tunnel vision," where their focus narrows solely on the cause of the escalation, making it difficult for them to respond to external input or reasoning.
For children with disabilities, escalations can be a way to communicate overwhelming emotions or unmet needs. Factors such as sensory overload, difficulty understanding social cues, frustration with communication, or unmet physical needs (such as hunger or tiredness) can trigger escalations.
Signs of Escalation:
- Increased agitation or irritability
- Raised voice, shouting, or crying
- Pacing or restlessness
- Physical aggression or destructive behaviours
- Self-harm or other risky behaviours
How to Manage Escalations
While an escalation often needs to reach its peak before the child begins to calm down, there are steps caregivers can take to assist the child in de-escalating:
- Remain Calm: It’s important to stay composed when a child is struggling. If the caregiver also escalates, it can amplify the child’s distress. Calmness provides a model for the child to follow.
- Soothing Voice: Speak in a calm, neutral tone. Avoid sounding condescending, as children—even when acting out—are sensitive to being talked down to. A reassuring voice can help them regain control over their emotions.
- Safety First: Ensure your own safety, as it’s impossible to support the child if you’re harmed. If the situation becomes unsafe, prioritise removing yourself or others from the environment.
- Create a Calm Space: If possible, guide the child to a quiet, low-stimulus area. Reducing noise and distractions can help them regain control of their emotions without the added pressure of being observed by others.
- One-on-One Attention: Handling an escalation is best done one-on-one to avoid making the child feel ganged up on or overwhelmed by too many people. If possible, allow a single trusted caregiver to manage the situation.
- Use Visual or Communication Tools: For children with communication difficulties, having visual aids or communication devices (e.g., AAC tools) on hand can sometimes help them express what they’re struggling to communicate verbally.
Tips to Care for Ourselves
Caring for a child during an escalation is emotionally taxing. It’s essential for caregivers to take steps to manage their own emotional well-being during and after the event:
- Recognise the Child’s Experience: Though the trigger may seem minor to adults, it’s critical to remember that in the child’s mind, the escalation is overwhelming and all-consuming at that moment. Acknowledging their experience can help keep your frustration in check.
- Breathing Techniques: Focus on your breathing to manage your own stress. Take slow breaths, inhaling for 4 seconds and exhaling for 8 seconds, focusing on belly breathing. This technique calms the nervous system and helps maintain composure.
- Post-Escalation Check-In: After the escalation, take a moment to check in with yourself. Evaluate your emotional state and ensure you feel ready to move forward. Sometimes, taking a few minutes of self-care (e.g., stepping outside for fresh air, drinking water, or engaging in a calming activity) can make a difference.
- Debriefing and Support: It’s helpful to talk about the event with someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, family member, or professional (like a counsellor or psychologist). Debriefing can help you process your emotions and regain perspective.
Seek Professional Support if Needed:
If escalations are frequent or severely impacting your well-being, consider reaching out for professional guidance. Counsellors, psychologists, or behaviour specialists can provide strategies for managing difficult situations and supporting your mental health.
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