What Is Emotional Regulation?

Emotional regulation is the ability to recognise, understand and manage emotions in ways that support participation in daily life, learning, relationships and wellbeing.

Children are not born knowing how to regulate emotions. These skills develop gradually through relationships, experiences, co-regulation and learning.
Emotional regulation helps children:
  • Identify emotions
  • Understand emotional triggers
  • Communicate feelings
  • Manage frustration
  • Cope with disappointment
  • Recover after becoming upset
  • Build healthy relationships
Emotional regulation does not mean children should always remain calm. Rather, it means they gradually learn how to move through emotions safely and effectively.

For more information about why emotional regulation difficulties occur, visit our guide on What Causes Emotional Dysregulation?
Why Do Some Children Need Extra Support?

Children may need support with emotional regulation due to:
  • Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
  • ADHD
  • Sensory processing differences
  • Anxiety
  • Developmental differences
  • Communication difficulties
  • Trauma or stressful life experiences
  • Sleep difficulties
  • Environmental demands
Some children experience emotions more intensely, while others may struggle to understand or communicate what they are feeling.
This does not mean anything is "wrong" with the child. It simply means they may benefit from additional support and strategies.
What Does Emotional Dysregulation Look Like in Children?

Every child is different, but emotional dysregulation may look like:
  • Frequent meltdowns
  • Emotional outbursts
  • Shutdowns or withdrawal
  • Difficulty with transitions
  • Frustration with small challenges
  • Aggressive behaviour when overwhelmed
  • Anxiety around change
  • School refusal
  • Difficulty expressing feelings
  • Becoming overwhelmed quickly
  • Difficulty calming after becoming upset
Behaviour is often a form of communication. Emotional dysregulation frequently indicates that a child is overwhelmed and requires support rather than punishment.
What Causes Emotional Dysregulation in Children?

Many factors can contribute to emotional regulation difficulties.

Autism
Autistic children may experience emotional dysregulation due to:
  • Sensory overload
  • Communication challenges
  • Social demands
  • Anxiety
  • Changes in routine
  • Environmental overwhelm
Learn more about Autism Support and Positive Behaviour Support for Autism.

ADHD
Children with ADHD often experience emotions more intensely and may find it difficult to pause, reflect and regulate emotional responses.
Learn more about Behaviour Support for ADHD.

Sensory Processing Differences
Sensory overload can have a significant impact on emotional regulation.
Busy environments, loud noises, textures, smells, lights or unexpected sensory experiences may contribute to emotional overwhelm.
Learn more about Sensory Processing Support.

Anxiety and Stress
Anxiety can make emotional responses feel larger, faster and harder to manage.

Fatigue and Sleep Difficulties
Children who are tired often have fewer resources available to manage emotions effectively.

Communication Difficulties
When children struggle to communicate needs, worries or frustrations, emotional responses may become more intense.
Learn more about Speech Pathology Services.
Emotional Regulation Strategies for Children

1. Co-Regulation First
​Children learn emotional regulation through relationships.
Before children can self-regulate, they often require co-regulation from trusted adults.
This involves:
  • Staying calm
  • Using a soft voice
  • Remaining present
  • Offering reassurance
  • Supporting the child through the emotional experience
Parents may find Co-Regulating with Your Child: Foundation Skills for Self-Regulation helpful.

2. Build Predictable Routines
Predictability helps children feel safe.
Helpful strategies include:
  • Visual schedules
  • Transition warnings
  • Consistent routines
  • Clear expectations
Predictability reduces uncertainty and can lower emotional stress.

3. Teach Emotional Awareness
Children first need to understand emotions before they can manage them.
Try:
  • Naming emotions
  • Using emotion charts
  • Reading books about feelings
  • Discussing emotions during calm moments
  • Modelling emotional language
For example:
"I wonder if you're feeling frustrated because that was difficult."

4. Use Sensory Regulation Strategies
For many children, emotions and sensory experiences are closely linked.
Helpful sensory supports may include:
  • Quiet spaces
  • Movement breaks
  • Swinging
  • Jumping
  • Fidget tools
  • Weighted blankets
  • Deep pressure (if appropriate)
  • Sensory bins
Learn more about Sensory Processing Support.

5. Develop Calming Strategies
Different children respond to different strategies.
Examples include:
  • Deep breathing
  • Listening to music
  • Drawing
  • Reading
  • Stretching
  • Mindfulness activities
  • Calm corners
  • Sensory activities
The goal is to help children discover what works for them.

6. Use Grounding Techniques
Grounding techniques help children return to the present moment.
The 5-4-3-2-1 Technique
Ask your child to identify:
  • 5 things they can see
  • 4 things they can feel
  • 3 things they can hear
  • 2 things they can smell
  • 1 thing they can taste
The 3-3-3 Rule
Ask your child to identify:
  • 3 things they can see
  • 3 things they can hear
  • 3 things they can move
These strategies can be particularly helpful for anxiety and overwhelm.

7. Reduce Demands During Escalation
When a child is overwhelmed:
  • Avoid lengthy explanations
  • Reduce demands
  • Focus on safety
  • Delay problem-solving until later
Reasoning is often much more effective once the child has returned to a calmer state.

8. Support Communication
Some children become dysregulated because they cannot effectively communicate their needs.
Supports may include:
  • Visual supports
  • Communication boards
  • Social stories
  • Alternative communication methods
  • Simple language
Learn more about Speech Pathology Services.
Emotional Regulation Strategies for Children with ADHD

Many children with ADHD benefit from:
  • Predictable routines
  • Movement breaks
  • Visual schedules
  • Clear instructions
  • Breaking tasks into smaller steps
  • Emotional coaching
  • Frequent opportunities for success
Support should be tailored to the individual child.

​Learn more about Behaviour Support for ADHD.
Emotional Regulation Strategies for Children with Autism

Autistic children often benefit from:
  • Sensory supports
  • Predictable routines
  • Visual schedules
  • Communication supports
  • Reduced sensory overload
  • Transition supports
  • Co-regulation strategies

Learn more about Positive Behaviour Support for Autism.
How Parents Can Support Emotional Regulation at Home

Parents play one of the most important roles in emotional development.
Helpful approaches include:

Stay Calm
Children often borrow regulation from trusted adults.

Validate Feelings
Acknowledging emotions does not mean approving behaviour.
Examples include:
  • "I can see you're upset."
  • "That looks really frustrating."

Focus on Connection
Connection often creates the foundation for regulation.

Teach During Calm Moments
Emotional skills are usually easier to learn when children are already calm.
Parents may also find these resources helpful:
Emotional Regulation at School

Many children experience emotional regulation difficulties at school due to:
  • Academic demands
  • Social pressures
  • Sensory environments
  • Communication challenges
  • Changes in routine
Helpful supports may include:
  • Visual supports
  • Movement breaks
  • Calm spaces
  • Emotional check-ins
  • Flexible transitions
Collaboration between families, schools and therapists can often improve outcomes.
Professional Support for Emotional Regulation

When emotional regulation difficulties significantly impact daily life, additional support may be beneficial.

Occupational Therapy
Occupational Therapists may support:
  • Sensory regulation
  • Daily routines
  • Emotional regulation strategies
  • Environmental adjustments
Learn more about Occupational Therapy.

Psychology
Psychologists may support:
  • Emotional awareness
  • Anxiety management
  • Coping strategies
  • Assessments where appropriate
Learn more about Psychology Services.

Positive Behaviour Support
Positive Behaviour Support focuses on understanding the reasons behind behaviour and developing proactive strategies.

Learn more about: Positive Behaviour Support Services
Counselling
Counselling may support:
  • Emotional processing
  • Stress management
  • Building resilience
Learn more about Counselling Services.

Speech Pathology
Speech Pathologists may support:
  • Emotional expression
  • Social communication
  • Understanding emotions
Learn more about Speech Pathology Services.
When Should You Seek Support?

Consider support if your child:
  • Experiences frequent emotional overwhelm
  • Struggles to recover after becoming upset
  • Has difficulty participating at school or home
  • Experiences significant anxiety
  • Has challenges with friendships or relationships
  • Frequently experiences meltdowns or shutdowns
Early support can help children build skills that benefit them throughout life.
Start With a Free 20-Minute Conversation
​
If you're unsure where to begin, we offer a free meet-and-greet to help guide you.
GETTING STARTED
​
If emotional regulation difficulties are affecting daily life, relationships, school, home or community participation, our team can help you understand what may be happening and what support options may be suitable.
​
Belong Health supports children across Perth, Mandurah, the Peel Region and regional Western Australia through home visits, community visits and telehealth.

Contact our friendly team today to discuss your child's needs and the next steps.​
​Our friendly team are happy to help call us on 08 9586 3934 or send us an email
Frequently Asked Questions - Emotional Regulation Strategies for Children 

What are emotional regulation strategies for children?
Emotional regulation strategies for children are tools that help children recognise, understand and manage their emotions. These may include co-regulation, sensory supports, predictable routines, emotional awareness activities, movement breaks, breathing exercises and calming strategies.

What are some emotional regulation strategies for kids?
Helpful strategies may include:
  • Deep breathing
  • Movement breaks
  • Sensory activities
  • Visual emotion scales
  • Calm-down spaces
  • Co-regulation with an adult
  • Predictable routines
  • Grounding techniques
  • Emotion coaching
The most effective strategies vary depending on the child’s age, development, sensory needs and communication style.

How can I help my child regulate their emotions?
You can support your child by staying calm, reducing overwhelm, using consistent routines, helping them name their emotions and practising calming strategies together. Children often need adult support before they can regulate independently.

How do you calm an emotionally dysregulated child?
Focus on safety, connection and reducing overwhelm first. Use a calm voice, reduce demands, offer reassurance and give your child time to settle before trying to teach, reason or problem-solve.

What activities help with emotional regulation in children?
Helpful activities may include:
  • Jumping
  • Swinging
  • Heavy work activities
  • Sensory play
  • Drawing or colouring
  • Listening to calming music
  • Reading together
  • Deep breathing
  • Quiet time
  • Movement games

What are the signs of poor emotional regulation in children?
Signs may include frequent meltdowns, emotional outbursts, difficulty calming down, strong reactions to small challenges, withdrawal, aggression, anxiety, impulsive behaviour or difficulty expressing emotions.

What causes poor emotional regulation in children?
Emotional regulation difficulties may be influenced by developmental stage, sensory processing differences, ADHD, autism, anxiety, communication difficulties, fatigue, stress, sleep difficulties or environmental overwhelm.

What triggers anxiety or emotional overwhelm in children?
Common triggers may include sensory overload, fatigue, changes in routine, social demands, transitions, unclear expectations, high demands or situations that feel unpredictable.

How can I calm my child’s nervous system?
You can support regulation by creating calm environments, using predictable routines, offering sensory supports, reducing demands, using movement or deep pressure where appropriate and staying emotionally available and calm.

What are coping strategies for children when they feel overwhelmed?
Coping strategies may include breathing exercises, taking a break, using sensory tools, asking for help, going to a calm space, movement activities, grounding techniques or talking with a trusted adult.

What is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique for children?
The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique helps children focus on the present moment by identifying:
  • 5 things they can see
  • 4 things they can feel
  • 3 things they can hear
  • 2 things they can smell
  • 1 thing they can taste
This can help children shift attention away from overwhelming thoughts or feelings.

What is the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety in children?
The 3-3-3 rule is a simple grounding strategy where children name:
  • 3 things they can see
  • 3 things they can hear
  • 3 things they can move or touch
It can help children slow down and reconnect with the present moment when they feel anxious or overwhelmed.

What are the 5 emotional regulation skills?
Emotional regulation skills often include:
  • Recognising emotions
  • Understanding triggers
  • Using coping strategies
  • Communicating feelings and needs
  • Recovering after becoming upset
These skills develop gradually and often require practice, modelling and support.

At what age does emotional regulation develop?
Emotional regulation begins developing in infancy and continues throughout childhood and adolescence. Young children rely heavily on co-regulation from adults before gradually developing stronger self-regulation skills.

What improves emotional regulation in children?
Emotional regulation may improve through consistent routines, supportive relationships, emotion coaching, sensory regulation, communication supports, co-regulation, practice and therapy where needed.

What not to do when a child is dysregulated?
It is generally helpful to avoid raising your voice, increasing demands, forcing reasoning, using punishment or expecting your child to explain their behaviour while overwhelmed. Children usually learn more effectively after they have regained regulation.

What should I say to a child who is overwhelmed?
Simple, supportive language often works best. Examples include:
  • “I’m here.”
  • “You’re safe.”
  • “Let’s take a moment together.”
  • “I can see this feels hard.”
  • “We can work it out when you’re ready.”

How do I teach emotional regulation to my child?
Teaching emotional regulation often involves modelling calm behaviour, naming emotions, using visual supports, practising coping strategies, supporting your child through co-regulation and helping them reflect after they are calm.

How can I help a child with ADHD regulate emotions?
Children with ADHD may benefit from structure, movement breaks, visual reminders, clear expectations, reduced distractions, emotional coaching and co-regulation. Support should be tailored to the child’s strengths and needs.

What are emotional regulation techniques for children with autism?
Autistic children may benefit from sensory supports, visual schedules, predictable routines, communication supports, reduced sensory overload, transition preparation and regulation strategies tailored to their sensory profile.

What are emotional regulation techniques for sensitive children?
Sensitive children often benefit from calm environments, predictability, emotional validation, gentle support, quiet recovery time and strategies that help them express feelings safely.

What therapy helps children with emotional regulation?
Support may include Occupational Therapy, Psychology, Counselling, Speech Pathology and Positive Behaviour Support, depending on the child’s needs. Therapy may focus on sensory regulation, communication, coping skills, emotional awareness and family strategies.

Do children grow out of emotional dysregulation?
Many children develop stronger emotional regulation skills over time, especially when they receive consistent support, safe relationships, opportunities to practise and environments that match their needs.
​
Why is my child struggling to regulate emotions?
Children may struggle to regulate emotions because of developmental stage, sensory processing differences, ADHD, autism, anxiety, communication difficulties, fatigue, sleep challenges or environmental stressors.
Related Resources

Emotional Regulation Resources Positive Behaviour Support Diagnosis-Specific Supports Assessments
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