Co-regulating with your child, foundation skills for self-regulation
Co-regulation is a powerful approach that helps children and young adults develop the ability to self-regulate. When children experience intense emotions like anger, frustration, or stress, co-regulation creates a safe, supportive environment where they can manage these feelings and, over time, learn how to regulate themselves.
In this tip sheet, we’ll dive into the concept of co-regulation and offer practical tips for parents on how to effectively co-regulate with their children.
What is Co-Regulation?
Co-regulation refers to the process by which a child learns self-regulation through the support of a calm, trusted adult. It's more than just soothing a single meltdown—it’s about consistently modelling and teaching key self-regulation strategies. Over time, this helps "rewire" the brain, enabling children to independently manage their emotions. Co-regulation is important at every age, as it helps children recognise and manage their feelings, leading to healthier, more controlled responses to stress. Ultimately, co-regulation is the foundation for self-regulation.
Since children often don’t recognise when they're becoming overwhelmed, they depend on an adult to provide tools and support to manage those feelings. The key is to maintain consistency, offering a calm and respectful environment that helps soothe their dysregulated nervous system. Over time, children will better understand their physical and emotional cues. For instance, they might learn that raised voices and clenched fists are signals to take a break. Generally, the first seven years of a child's life are focused on co-regulation, but many children—especially those older than seven, and even adults—still benefit from this kind of support.
Why is Co-Regulation Important?
Co-regulation is critical for several reasons:
Co-Regulation Strategies for Parents & Caregivers
Here are some effective strategies for co-regulating with your child. Each child is unique, so be sure to adapt these strategies to fit their needs and temperament. The goal is to create a safe and supportive space where your child feels loved and understood, even when emotions are high. Remember, when a child is dysregulated, they cannot access the rational part of their brain, so it’s essential to reduce language and help them ride through the emotional wave.
Conclusion
Co-regulation is a key factor in helping children develop the ability to self-regulate. It fosters secure attachments, supports healthy relationships and social skills, and promotes emotional well-being. By being a consistent source of calm, parents and caregivers can provide the foundation children need to manage their emotions in a healthy way as they grow.
Co-regulation is a powerful approach that helps children and young adults develop the ability to self-regulate. When children experience intense emotions like anger, frustration, or stress, co-regulation creates a safe, supportive environment where they can manage these feelings and, over time, learn how to regulate themselves.
In this tip sheet, we’ll dive into the concept of co-regulation and offer practical tips for parents on how to effectively co-regulate with their children.
What is Co-Regulation?
Co-regulation refers to the process by which a child learns self-regulation through the support of a calm, trusted adult. It's more than just soothing a single meltdown—it’s about consistently modelling and teaching key self-regulation strategies. Over time, this helps "rewire" the brain, enabling children to independently manage their emotions. Co-regulation is important at every age, as it helps children recognise and manage their feelings, leading to healthier, more controlled responses to stress. Ultimately, co-regulation is the foundation for self-regulation.
Since children often don’t recognise when they're becoming overwhelmed, they depend on an adult to provide tools and support to manage those feelings. The key is to maintain consistency, offering a calm and respectful environment that helps soothe their dysregulated nervous system. Over time, children will better understand their physical and emotional cues. For instance, they might learn that raised voices and clenched fists are signals to take a break. Generally, the first seven years of a child's life are focused on co-regulation, but many children—especially those older than seven, and even adults—still benefit from this kind of support.
Why is Co-Regulation Important?
Co-regulation is critical for several reasons:
- Building Attachment and Trust: Co-regulation lays the groundwork for secure attachments and healthy social relationships. From infancy, children rely on caregivers to soothe their emotions. When a caregiver responds to a baby’s cries with calm, loving comfort, this co-regulation builds a foundation of trust and security.
- Emotional Development: Children cannot self-regulate without first co-regulating with a trusted adult. This process helps them understand and manage their emotions and is essential as they grow into adults capable of navigating life’s challenges with emotional resilience.
- Improving Mental Health: By promoting emotional well-being, co-regulation reduces stress and anxiety in children. Kids who experience consistent co-regulation develop a strong sense of self, boosting confidence and reducing the risk of future mental health issues.
- Positive Behavioural Outcomes: Children learn positive social behaviours by observing how their caregiver responds to difficult emotions. This shapes how they handle conflicts and interact with others in social situations.
- Strengthening Relationships: Co-regulation deepens the bond between parent and child, creating a secure environment for children to express challenging emotions, which ultimately strengthens the entire family unit.
Co-Regulation Strategies for Parents & Caregivers
Here are some effective strategies for co-regulating with your child. Each child is unique, so be sure to adapt these strategies to fit their needs and temperament. The goal is to create a safe and supportive space where your child feels loved and understood, even when emotions are high. Remember, when a child is dysregulated, they cannot access the rational part of their brain, so it’s essential to reduce language and help them ride through the emotional wave.
- Stay Calm: This can be challenging, but it’s crucial. Imagine being upset and having someone yell at you—it would only make you feel worse. As soon as you notice your child (teenager or even adult child or your partner) becoming distressed, take a deep breath, stay calm, and avoid raising your voice. You are modelling emotional regulation.
- Connect on Their Level: Get down to your child’s eye level, make gentle eye contact, and use comforting touch, like holding their hand or placing your hand on their shoulder. This reassures them that they are safe and that they’re not alone in what they’re feeling.
- Validate and Name Their Emotions: During a moment of distress, children need to feel heard. Use simple, validating language, such as “I see you’re feeling really angry” or “You’re very upset right now.” Keep the words limited, as this is not a time for teaching or discipline.
- Create a Safe Space: Never leave your child alone or shut them away when they are overwhelmed. While it’s important to respect their need for space, always stay close by to ensure they feel safe.
- Model Deep Breathing: Deep breathing is a simple and effective tool for calming the nervous system. Start by modelling slow, deep breaths yourself. Your child may join you, or they might start to calm down through the rhythm of your breath.
- Use Sensory Tools: Depending on your child’s preferences, sensory strategies such as a weighted blanket, gentle rocking, calm instrumental music or dimming the lights can help soothe their nervous system when they are dysregulated.
Conclusion
Co-regulation is a key factor in helping children develop the ability to self-regulate. It fosters secure attachments, supports healthy relationships and social skills, and promotes emotional well-being. By being a consistent source of calm, parents and caregivers can provide the foundation children need to manage their emotions in a healthy way as they grow.
Your Support Matters
If you find these resources helpful, please support us in creating more valuable content by leaving a review on Facebook and Google.
Your feedback helps us continue to provide support and information that benefits our community.
Stay updated with our latest resources and tips by liking us on Facebook!
If you find these resources helpful, please support us in creating more valuable content by leaving a review on Facebook and Google.
Your feedback helps us continue to provide support and information that benefits our community.
Stay updated with our latest resources and tips by liking us on Facebook!
Explore Home Therapy Packs
Our guides provide practical strategies to support children facing these challenges. To further enhance your approach, consider our Home Therapy Packs, designed to engage children and improve focus at home.
Explore Home Therapy Packs
Our guides provide practical strategies to support children facing these challenges. To further enhance your approach, consider our Home Therapy Packs, designed to engage children and improve focus at home.
Explore Home Therapy Packs
Have a question? or need more information
Our friendly team are happy to help call us on 08 9586 3634 or send us a message
Accessing our Perth services
Let's Work Together
Referrals to Belong Health
We are Medicare and Private Health fund registered for Occupational Therapy and Speech Pathology.
EPC/Team care arrangements/Chronic disease (CDM) or GP management plans and self-referrals are all acceptable.
WA NDIS Registered Provider
We are Medicare and Private Health fund registered for Occupational Therapy and Speech Pathology.
EPC/Team care arrangements/Chronic disease (CDM) or GP management plans and self-referrals are all acceptable.
WA NDIS Registered Provider
Medicare
You can get a referral from your/your child’s GP for OT on a Chronic Disease Management (CDM) plan this gives you 5 sessions for OT per calendar year with a $53 rebate available on each session or a Helping Children with Autism/PDD/ or an eligible disability package (20 sessions between allied health professionals, as set up by a Paediatrician/Psychiatrist) which gives your child under 16 years a $75 rebate per session for the 20 sessions, you can use up to 10 sessions per Health Professional (up to 10 for OT) and you will need a separate referral letter from your child’s Paediatrician for each Allied Health Professional you are seeking services from.
You can get a referral from your/your child’s GP for OT on a Chronic Disease Management (CDM) plan this gives you 5 sessions for OT per calendar year with a $53 rebate available on each session or a Helping Children with Autism/PDD/ or an eligible disability package (20 sessions between allied health professionals, as set up by a Paediatrician/Psychiatrist) which gives your child under 16 years a $75 rebate per session for the 20 sessions, you can use up to 10 sessions per Health Professional (up to 10 for OT) and you will need a separate referral letter from your child’s Paediatrician for each Allied Health Professional you are seeking services from.
Private Health
Your Private Health fund may cover up to 75% of the cost of OT sessions if this is included in your cover, be sure to call them or check your policy for details.
No referral or self referral
You do not require a referral for accessing OT
Your Private Health fund may cover up to 75% of the cost of OT sessions if this is included in your cover, be sure to call them or check your policy for details.
No referral or self referral
You do not require a referral for accessing OT
NDIS Registered Provider
We are an NDIS Registered Provider
Whether you or your child have NDIS funding that is NDIS Managed, Third Party Plan Managed or you are Self-Managing your funds, you are able to use your funding to cover the full cost of therapy services plus travel costs. You will need provide us with your/your child’s NDIS number and plan details ahead of your first session. Once you have booked a session or contacted us, our team will be in touch to discuss our service agreement and provide you with our services price list.
We are an NDIS Registered Provider
Whether you or your child have NDIS funding that is NDIS Managed, Third Party Plan Managed or you are Self-Managing your funds, you are able to use your funding to cover the full cost of therapy services plus travel costs. You will need provide us with your/your child’s NDIS number and plan details ahead of your first session. Once you have booked a session or contacted us, our team will be in touch to discuss our service agreement and provide you with our services price list.
13 Littleton st, Falcon |
Phone: 08 9586 3934 |
EMAIL US |
OFFICE HOURS: MONDAY TO FRIDAY 8:30am - 4:30pm
BELONG HEALTH'S Paediatric Occupational Therapy SERVICES FOR Perth region
A: Alexander Heights, Alfred Cove, Applecross, Applecross North, Ardross, Armadale, Ascot, Ashby, Ashfield, Attadale, Atwell, Aubin Grove, Aveley
B: Balcatta, Balga, Ballajura, Banjup, Banksia Grove, Baskerville, Bassendean, Bateman, Bayswater, Beaconsfield, Beckenham, Bedford, Bedfordale, Beechboro, Beeliar, Beldon, Belhus, Bellevue, Belmont, Bennett Springs, Bentley, Bibra Lake, Bicton, Booragoon, Boya, Brabham, Brentwood, Brigadoon, Broadway Nedlands, Brookdale, Bull Creek, Burns Beach, Burswood, Bushmead, Butler
C: Canning Vale, Cannington, Carabooda, Carine, Carlisle, Carramar, Caversham, Champion Lakes, Churchlands, City Beach, Claremont, Clarkson, Cloverdale, Cockburn Central, Como, Connolly, Coogee, Coolbellup, Coolbinia, Cottesloe, Craigie, Crawley, Currambine
D: Daglish, Dalkeith, Darch, Darlington, Dayton, Dianella, Dog Swamp, Doubleview, Duncraig
E: East Cannington, East Fremantle, East Perth, East Victoria Park, Eden Hill, Edgewater, Ellenbrook, Embleton
F: Ferndale, Floreat, Forrestdale, Forrestfield, Fremantle
G: Gidgegannup, Girrawheen, Glen Forrest, Glendalough, Glengarry, Gnangara, Gosnells, Greenmount, Greenwood, Guildford, Gwelup
H: Hamersley, Hamilton Hill, Hammond Park, Harrisdale, Haynes, Hazelmere, Heathridge, Helena Valley, Henderson, Henley Brook, Herdsman, Herne Hill, High Wycombe, Highgate, Hilbert, Hillarys, Hilton, Hocking, Hovea, Huntingdale
I: Iluka, Inglewood, Innaloo, Jandabup, Jandakot, Jane Brook, Jindalee, Jolimont, Joondalup, Joondanna
K: Kallaroo, Karawara, Kardinya, Karragullen, Karrakatta, Karrinyup, Kelmscott, Kensington, Kenwick, Kewdale, Kiara, Kings Park, Kingsley, Kingsway, Kinross, Koondoola, Koongamia
L: Landsdale, Langford, Lathlain, Leederville, Leeming, Lexia, Lockridge, Lynwood
M: Maddington, Madeley, Mahogany Creek, Maida Vale, Malaga, Manning, Marangaroo, Mariginiup, Marmion, Martin, Maylands, Melaleuca, Melville, Menora, Merriwa, Middle Swan, Midland, Midvale, Millendon, Mindarie, Mirrabooka, Morangup, Morley, Mosman Park, Mount Claremont, Mount Hawthorn, Mount Lawley, Mount Nasura, Mount Pleasant, Mount Richon, Mullaloo, Munster, Murdoch, Myaree
N: Nedlands, Neerabup, Nollamara, Noranda, North Beach, North Coogee, North Fremantle, North Lake, North Perth, Northbridge, Nowergup
O: O'connor, Ocean Reef, Orange Grove, Osborne Park
P: Padbury, Palmyra, Parkerville, Parkwood, Pearsall, Peppermint Grove, Perth, Piara Waters, Pinjar, Queens Park, Quinns Rocks
R: Red Hill, Redcliffe, Ridgewood, Riverton, Rivervale, Roleystone, Rossmoyne, Rottnest Island
S: Salter Point, Samson, Sawyers Valley, Scarborough, Seville Grove, Shelley, Shenton Park, Sinagra, Sorrento, South Fremantle, South Guildford, South Lake, South Perth, Southern River, Spearwood, St James, Stirling, Stoneville, Stratton, Subiaco, Subiaco East, Success, Swan View, Swanbourne
T: Tamala Park, Tapping, The Vines, Thornlie, Treeby, Trigg, Tuart Hill
U: Upper Swan
V: Victoria Park
W: Wangara, Wanneroo, Warwick, Waterford, Watermans Bay, Wattle Grove, Wattleup, Welshpool, Wembley, Wembley Downs, West Leederville, West Perth, West Swan, Westfield, Westminster, White Gum Valley, Whiteman, Willagee, Willetton, Wilson, Winthrop, Woodbridge, Woodlands, Woodvale, Wungong
Y: Yangebup, Yokine
B: Balcatta, Balga, Ballajura, Banjup, Banksia Grove, Baskerville, Bassendean, Bateman, Bayswater, Beaconsfield, Beckenham, Bedford, Bedfordale, Beechboro, Beeliar, Beldon, Belhus, Bellevue, Belmont, Bennett Springs, Bentley, Bibra Lake, Bicton, Booragoon, Boya, Brabham, Brentwood, Brigadoon, Broadway Nedlands, Brookdale, Bull Creek, Burns Beach, Burswood, Bushmead, Butler
C: Canning Vale, Cannington, Carabooda, Carine, Carlisle, Carramar, Caversham, Champion Lakes, Churchlands, City Beach, Claremont, Clarkson, Cloverdale, Cockburn Central, Como, Connolly, Coogee, Coolbellup, Coolbinia, Cottesloe, Craigie, Crawley, Currambine
D: Daglish, Dalkeith, Darch, Darlington, Dayton, Dianella, Dog Swamp, Doubleview, Duncraig
E: East Cannington, East Fremantle, East Perth, East Victoria Park, Eden Hill, Edgewater, Ellenbrook, Embleton
F: Ferndale, Floreat, Forrestdale, Forrestfield, Fremantle
G: Gidgegannup, Girrawheen, Glen Forrest, Glendalough, Glengarry, Gnangara, Gosnells, Greenmount, Greenwood, Guildford, Gwelup
H: Hamersley, Hamilton Hill, Hammond Park, Harrisdale, Haynes, Hazelmere, Heathridge, Helena Valley, Henderson, Henley Brook, Herdsman, Herne Hill, High Wycombe, Highgate, Hilbert, Hillarys, Hilton, Hocking, Hovea, Huntingdale
I: Iluka, Inglewood, Innaloo, Jandabup, Jandakot, Jane Brook, Jindalee, Jolimont, Joondalup, Joondanna
K: Kallaroo, Karawara, Kardinya, Karragullen, Karrakatta, Karrinyup, Kelmscott, Kensington, Kenwick, Kewdale, Kiara, Kings Park, Kingsley, Kingsway, Kinross, Koondoola, Koongamia
L: Landsdale, Langford, Lathlain, Leederville, Leeming, Lexia, Lockridge, Lynwood
M: Maddington, Madeley, Mahogany Creek, Maida Vale, Malaga, Manning, Marangaroo, Mariginiup, Marmion, Martin, Maylands, Melaleuca, Melville, Menora, Merriwa, Middle Swan, Midland, Midvale, Millendon, Mindarie, Mirrabooka, Morangup, Morley, Mosman Park, Mount Claremont, Mount Hawthorn, Mount Lawley, Mount Nasura, Mount Pleasant, Mount Richon, Mullaloo, Munster, Murdoch, Myaree
N: Nedlands, Neerabup, Nollamara, Noranda, North Beach, North Coogee, North Fremantle, North Lake, North Perth, Northbridge, Nowergup
O: O'connor, Ocean Reef, Orange Grove, Osborne Park
P: Padbury, Palmyra, Parkerville, Parkwood, Pearsall, Peppermint Grove, Perth, Piara Waters, Pinjar, Queens Park, Quinns Rocks
R: Red Hill, Redcliffe, Ridgewood, Riverton, Rivervale, Roleystone, Rossmoyne, Rottnest Island
S: Salter Point, Samson, Sawyers Valley, Scarborough, Seville Grove, Shelley, Shenton Park, Sinagra, Sorrento, South Fremantle, South Guildford, South Lake, South Perth, Southern River, Spearwood, St James, Stirling, Stoneville, Stratton, Subiaco, Subiaco East, Success, Swan View, Swanbourne
T: Tamala Park, Tapping, The Vines, Thornlie, Treeby, Trigg, Tuart Hill
U: Upper Swan
V: Victoria Park
W: Wangara, Wanneroo, Warwick, Waterford, Watermans Bay, Wattle Grove, Wattleup, Welshpool, Wembley, Wembley Downs, West Leederville, West Perth, West Swan, Westfield, Westminster, White Gum Valley, Whiteman, Willagee, Willetton, Wilson, Winthrop, Woodbridge, Woodlands, Woodvale, Wungong
Y: Yangebup, Yokine